Satirical 4-Panel Product Ads

{ "type": "4-panel satirical product advertisement grid", "layout": { "grid": "2x2", "panels": [ { "position": "top-left", "product_name": "{argument name=\"top left product name\" default=\"座る石\"}", "visual": "man in white shirt and dark pants sitting on a large round stone in a park", "catchphrase": "いつでも、どこでも、落ち着ける。", "sales_badge": "累計販売数 12,000個 突破!", "vertical_text": "公園のベンチが埋まっていた日に。", "features_count": 3, "features_labels": [ "重さ約8kgで安定感抜群", "底面フェルト加工で傷つけにくい", "付属の専用ベルトで持ち運び簡単" ], "extra_visual": "small inset image of the stone with a leather carrying strap", "specs": [ "耐荷重 150kg", "安心の日本製" ] }, { "position": "top-right", "product_name": "{argument name=\"top right product name\" default=\"磨きたくない人の歯ブラシ\"}", "visual": "sleek light blue toothbrush angled diagonally on a dark blue background", "toothbrush_text": "I don't want to brush my yeeth.", "catchphrase": "持っているだけで安心感", "vertical_text": "歯を磨く代わりに、これを持つ。", "sales_badge": "シリーズ累計販売数 85,000本 突破!", "features_count": 3, "features_labels": [ "気持ちを落ち着けるお守り代わりに", "会議や商談前のエチケットに", "磨かない選択を、もっと自由に。" ], "bottom_banner": "歯磨きストレスから、あなたを解放する。" }, { "position": "bottom-left", "product_name": "{argument name=\"bottom left product name\" default=\"雲の貯金箱\"}", "visual": "hand inserting a coin into a fluffy white cloud-shaped piggy bank", "catchphrase": "空気より軽い、安心感。", "sales_badge": "累計販売数 23,567個 突破!", "features_count": 3, "features_labels": [ "ふわふわの触り心地", "割れないから安心", "インテリアに馴染むデザイン" ], "color_variants_count": 3, "color_variants_labels": [ "blue", "pink", "white" ], "price": "¥2,980 (税込)", "bottom_text": "今日から、空に向かってコツコツ貯めよう。" }, { "position": "bottom-right", "product_name": "{argument name=\"bottom right product name\" default=\"叱ってくれる石\"}", "visual": "round stone on a wooden desk with a pen, text written on the stone", "stone_text": "{argument name=\"scolding phrase\" default=\"いいかげんやれ\"}", "catchphrase": "やる気が出ないあなたへ。", "sales_badge": "累計販売数 18,000個 突破!", "features_count": 3, "features_labels": [ "見るたびに心を奮い立たせる", "厳選された言葉をランダム表示", "電池不要、半永久的に叱ってくれる" ], "phrase_variants_count": 10, "phrase_variants_labels": [ "甘えるな", "考えるな", "動け", "現実を見ろ", "逃げるな", "寝るな", "やればできる", "お前ならできる", "寝るな", "もう言い訳するな" ], "price": "¥3,500 (税込)" } ] } }